She Used to Love Me
by wordspank
Summary: Sometimes, you just need a phone call to change your love life forever. A songfic, and an SD fic *R&R*...


I Used to Love Her  
PG  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters I use in this story. I also do NOT own the song 'Light In Your Eyes'.  
A/N: Just some songfic I came up in the middle of my dreams. Might be a bit sad... Well, let's just see. Oh yeah, this is one of the few songfics that I happened to write. Just a little testing.  
  
I remember when I came home and sat down on my couch, with the box of my everything I had with her in my lap, just waiting for me to open it once again. I threw everything I loved into the box, always wanting to discard it one way or another, but when the time came, I never had the heart to.  
Damn. I love her so much. But the problem was that we could never stay together. It was always an 'on again', 'off again' relationship, and I couldn't stand it. Now I realise how much I really need her, after the last breakup with someone else. The first time we split, she was down on her knees begging me not to, and I couldn't just leave her there. But that last time, somewhere in my heart I knew that I had lost her forever. She told me that she would love me always, but it was as if we'd never see each other again. And I reckon that that was it. All of my fault. It was so long ago, but my wounds never healed. Not this time.  
  
~I can't remember the last time that we kissed goodbye  
All our "I love you"s were just not enough to survive  
Something your eyes never told me  
But its only now too plain to see  
Brilliant disguise when you hold me  
And I'm free~  
  
I made a mistake, and it was so stupid of me not to listen to her words carefully. She told me that she needed time to figure her whole life out and where she would be ending up with me. What I heard, was that she preferred not to see me because she needed to sort her own problems out. So I avoided her, and I didn't understand why she needed me to. By doing that, I was shutting her out of my life completely, when it wasn't what she wanted. I wanted so much to be with her, but that simple misunderstanding brought the whole relationship to the rocks.  
I looked at the cover of the box. It was pretty plain, just blue with bright stars on it. She wrote on it, 'You may have never shone the brightest, but you were the star that was always there. Thanks.' I gave a heavy sigh looking at it.  
  
~I've been thinking and here's what I've come to conclude  
Sometimes the distance is more than two people can use  
But how could I have known girl  
It was time and not space you would need  
Darling tonight I could hold you and you would know  
But would you believe~  
  
I love her and hate her, but you know, right now, I hate myself for not telling her the things that I should've. Almost everyday, I'd just wonder if she was still thinking of me. Whether I was still in her heart. Whether there was a chance that I could be with her again. Or maybe that only I could just capture her heart. Perhaps I was wrong, but there's always a chance that I could. She might have left her light burning for me.  
  
~There's a light in your eyes I used to see  
There's a place in your heart, where I used to be  
Was I wrong to assume that you were waiting there for me  
There's a light in your eyes  
Did you leave that light burning for me~  
  
In that box, I saw a photo of me trying to strangle her during the time we went to a resort in the winter. Her smile was so beautiful, and I've never noticed it until she left. I brushed my thumb over the photograph lightly, over her face. Maybe she could feel me this way. Her hair was in a big mess because I ruffled it up, and her cheeks were so red because of the chill. And after all this, she kissed me for the very first time.  
Another item caught my eye, and it glittered a bit. I picked it up, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Two tons of bricks. I gave her a blue diamond pendant, and it was here. Why was it there? She never took it off, and she told me she'd never give it away. But there it was, in that box. I couldn't believe it. Had she really meant goodbye? I surely hoped not.  
  
~Cards and phone calls and photograph pictures of you  
Constand reminder of all the things you get used to  
Is there a chance in hell or heaven  
That there's still something here to build on  
Or do you just pick up the pieces after they fall  
But after all~  
  
There were so many things that she told me. What she hated, what she liked, what she did for some things, and most of all, how much she loved me. Everytime that crossed my mind then, I couldn't help but grin somehow. But instead of grinning now, I just feel so hurt and empty. I missed her kisses and her hugs and the love she'd give me in every way. But maybe now she'd take me back.  
  
~There's a light in your eyes that I used to see  
And a song in the words that you spoke to me  
Was I wrong to believe in your melody  
There's a light in your eyes  
Did you leave that light burning for me~  
  
That was it. I've been thinking about it for a long time, and I'm going to lose all that pride I had within me to ask her. To beg her, just as she begged me. I set the box of the precious things aside on the table and waited for myself to come to a decision. I did, and I picked up the telephone to dial the numbers down slowly. I couldn't wait anymore. I needed to know what she thought and how she still felt. Whether all those feelings she had in the past were still there. Whether she still loved me as much as she said she did. Everything in me wanted to find out so very badly from she herself.  
  
~Should I keep on waiting or does love keep on fading away  
Fading away~  
  
I waited, and the ringing started. What could I say? I didn't prepare for that one. Well, since when did I ever prepare for something like this? I counted the eighth ring, and I wanted to put down the phone, but somebody picked up. "Hello?"  
Oh my God. It was her. I knew that voice anywhere. "Stephanie?"  
There was a long silence over the phone, and it was killing me. My mouth was open, but nothing came out. Before I did, there was a click and then the receiver's tone. I had to try again. The ringing started again, and this time, I waited longer. I knew she'd take longer. Suddenly, the ringing stopped and the same silence took over.  
"Stephanie, I know you're there, and I need you. I need you so badly."  
"She doesn't live here anymore," she said sternly. I continued desparately, when I knew that she was about to put down the phone again. I talked about leaving that light burning and so much other useless banter. And at the last time, I shouted through the mouthpiece, "I LOVE YOU!" Then, the tone again.  
I laid back defeatedly.  
  
~Its been awhile since I've seen you so how have you been  
Did you get my letter I wrote you, but I did not send  
I tried to call your old number  
But the voice that I heard on the phone  
I recognized, but she told me the number was wrong~  
  
There. I lost her. She never wanted to talk to me. God, I wanted to cry. Chris Jericho, crying. That should be on the news headlines. But this was something worth to cry about.  
But before my heart broke into a million pieces, the phone rang. I stared. Then something took over my body, and I held the phone to my ear. The words she spoke saved me. It brought those tears to my eyes anyway. If I told her, she'd say I was a wimp. But thank God she said them.  
  
"I love you too Chris," she said. "And I definitely left my light burning for you."  
  
~The End~  
  
A/N: *screams* Whew. Argh! I haven't written something like that in ages. Hope you liked it. Praise me, burn me, I don't mind. Honest opinions are treasured opinions. Review okay? Thanks! ~^*Pearlyn*^~ 12-11-2002 


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